Finally, she gives into her thoughts and sacrifices herself for her friends by literally transforming herself into one of villain’s puppets. Exhausted from struggling against herself, Aqua loses the ability to feel anything at all. In the meantime, Xehanort (the primary villain in the Kingdom Hearts series,) has the perfect opportunity to exploit her vulnerability and use her to complete his evil scheme. She continuously reminds herself of everything she could have done better, and the further she goes, the harder it is to continue to see light. She feels lost and alone, so no matter how tough she starts out being, and as she moves further into the realm, she spirals - making it harder and harder to disprove those dark thoughts.Īqua eventually doubts every aspect of her existence as she descends further into her mind, unable to fight off her most negative beliefs about herself. " She pushes against all her worst fears as she worries that she is no longer loved and no one will ever care to help save her from the darkness. She battles awful thoughts about herself and all of her hard-earned achievements: "Are you really worthy of being a Keyblade Master?”, and "Your bonds of friendship only tie you down. which is how I, and I know others, often refer to depression. Unlike the other Kingdom Hearts episode’s connections to mental health, which were notably more subtle, the relevance of the subject in this story was unmistakable. That her incredible journey of loss and pain should became the vector by which others can feel less alone, while gaining insight to reflect onto themselves. How incredible was it that all those creators chose to take this established, beloved, tough, yet feminine character, and use her as a vessel to bring attention to this important topic. Was this wording a direct pour from inside their mind, as they labored over creating the perfect game, feeling like nothing would be good enough to match impossibly high fan expectations? What other kind of bullying had they been subject to in their heads? And with mental health stigma being an even bigger problem in Japan than it is in the U.S., I think my hypothesis wasn’t too far off. Perhaps they imaged the metaphorical pit they felt they were in after a particularly hard break up? I thought of the person who wrote the dialogue. I thought of a designer hunched over their desk, creating the realm of ultimate darkness Aqua was currently lost in. How could the game creators have been so accurate? At that moment, I even felt guilt for taking this piece of lore for granted. If I could, I would have reached into the screen, put my hand on Master Aqua’s shoulder and said: “Hey maybe you’re being too hard on yourself.” I felt a sad kind of kinship. It’s clear that a sacrificial trope is Aqua’s only possible fate. She is barely succeeding protecting one of them, while the other is lost to ultimate evil’s control. From play the previous games, we know that their current state is rather dire. They start up practically whenever she stops moving, meaning, whenever the player stops controlling the character.Īqua’s entire arc is based around how much she values her friends and largely, the only thing keeping her alive is their spirit and desire to protect them from all harm. The sharp words can be heard anywhere in the darkness, as they echo through the vast space. There was my strong female hero, Aqua, desperately trying to hold onto any positive memory, battling past demons of a dark realm, as well as literal versions of herself. I had to pause, because those exact words were spoken inside of my head just moments before I heard them from the other room. I was not having the best mental health day, so when I heard a distant voice say: "Is there any point in continuing this fight?" I stopped folding laundry and followed the sound into the living room, hoping it wasn’t an auditory hallucination. I dismissed it as just another add-on, hold-over game from Square Enix that offered more possibly unnecessary exposition to placate overeager fans like me as we anticipate Kingdom Hearts 3’s release. My significant other was actually the first one to start playing Kingdom Hearts 0.2.
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